Perusal Score

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Text

prologue

At the cold horizon of space, the sensitive
spot where time loses touch and even blackness
fades to
something else entirely,
there is a phone ringing.

Somehow though,
the clock is winding back at breathtaking speeds and
the professors are talking in tongues
unheard and
maybe
maybe
maybe
there was no one
calling at all.
It wouldn't be beyond us
to use imagination in that way.
Just to have something
to do. We are obsessed with
our senses in that way, wanting that instant satiation
that we feel
must exist.
So we will answer the phone and find
a lovely, little mirror in which
to conduct our conversation.

(12/15/20)

i. after dinner

After dinner,
We skipped stones
On the frozen pond.

We were laughing.
My hand slipped.
You ended up with

A black eye. You joke
About it, you still do.
You skipped back to

The house, singing. I sat by
The pond all night. Now I
Only skip stones alone.

(12/26/21)

ii. summers ago

How is it that
Had I met you
Summers ago
There would've
Been nothing
To say

But now
Bursting breathless
Brokenly blurring
Words

I can't
Possibly
Say enough

I think
I need
You now
Now and
Once again
Now

(12/18/23)

iii. if it will be winter

if it will be winter then let it be cold
if it will be cold then let it be snowing
if it will be snowing then let us have long tongues
if we have long tongues then let us catch snowflakes
if we can catch snowflakes then let our bellies be full
if our bellies are full then let us take long, warm naps
if we are taking long, warm naps then let us awake with one another
if we are awaking, then sure, let it be christmas
so what if i had a bat mitzvah
i could still use
some jolly

(12/24/22)

iv. when my heart feels explosive

it occurs to me
when my heart feels
explosive
that i could drive
my car
in one direction forever
that i could
end up in diners
with strangers
stare out of windows
at landscapes
of memories
still unclaimed
but
eventually night
his spindly fingers
and piercing eyes
would find me
if i were not
in my room
in my bed
and he would pluck
me up and add me
to his silent collection
of untethered souls
displayed neatly on
his marble mantlepiece

(12/21/21)

v. is it too much to ask

is it too much to ask that you never
ever ever ever
bring someone else to that spot
in the hills behind your house
where the mud ate away at our shoes

where you laughed
as it dried in your hair
after you slipped

where there was
no one else in sight
if only
for a second

where we never returned

in my mind that expanse
was endless and still presses
its warm body up against the present

though, sure,
it was long
long long
ago

(12/10/23)